Saturday, May 26, 2012

I Gave In

Last night I finally gave in and let frustration, fear and worry take over.  Bad move. 

Our lawyer was looking at what the immigration process was looking like (in light of all the hold ups we’ve had here in Rwanda) and he’s thinking that we might either have to change our tickets and fly to Nairobi or end up staying here longer.  Even as I write this my eyes fill with tears and I get a lump in my throat. 
Please don’t get me wrong.  I am so very thankful for how God has moved and given us our son.  I do, however, want to go home.  Our 8 year old son is in Canada still (very well cared for!) and we miss him so much.  I want this process to be done in the allotted time—I want it all to work out neatly—Ha!  Haven’t I learned a thing?  God has moved mountains many times since we’ve been here... I don’t understand why I give into worry, fear and frustration.  But I did.

Last night after (or kinda still during) my pity party, I was praying and realizing that I liked it so much better when I gave all these things to God.  He took care of all of them so far AND I had joy and peace. 
So I’ve decided to give in again... but in a good way. 

I give in to the idea that it’s not all going to happen the way I thought it would. 
I give in to casting all these cares on His shoulders and receiving the peace that surpasses all understanding.

I give into praising Him and thanking Him before I see the outcome... no matter the outcome.


“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”  AMEN!
Philippians 4:6-7  

2 comments:

  1. Oh Juanita, you are almost there! It is okay to feel upset and worried and anxious- you're human:) But know that you have already gotten over the biggest hurdles and this is the home stretch. Try to give it to God and take one day at a time and know that there are loads of people praying and sending lots of positive energy your way for strength and courage. You'll be home before you know it;)

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  2. Thanks Hollie. I keep thinking about what you said a few days ago--about keeping my mind focused on the big picture. I am once again trying to just give it to God... I feel much better about things this way :) You are totally right--He has gotten us over the biggest hurdle (we have our precious son) Thanks for the great encouragement and reminder :)

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