Let's use some of that energy

I figure if he's got so much energy, he might as well put it to good use.  He loves helping out!

It's Official...

I have no idea what I'm doing!

Great day filled with friends and water and hot dogs AND the biggest meltdown yet (Ezra).  I've never seen his temper this fierce or his scream this high and loud.  And I have no idea what to do. 

I'm a bit nervous now about what tomorrow will bring.  Is the honeymoon over?

I wish he had the words...

Tonight after supper, Liam was picked up to go to his friend Karina's baseball game.  When Karina's mom came to the door, we all said bye to Liam and went back to the dinner table... well, Shawn and I did.  Ezra stood at the back door until we called him to come to the dining room.  Then he just stood in the dining room and got all quiet and sad.  We asked him if he wanted to colour, wanted a hug, wanted to play or wanted to snuggle.  A quiet "no" was all he would give.  So we cleared the dinner table and cleaned up.  Not too long after that, Shawn went into the living room and found Ezra quietly looking out the window with tear streaming down his face.  He doesn't have the words to tell us what was wrong, nor did he try.  Shawn picked him up and Ezra just clung to his daddy and sobbed.

Ezra's been separated from Liam before, but now that we think of it, it's never been Liam leaving and all three of us at home.  He normally leaves with one of us.  We kept telling Ezra that Liam was coming home soon... who knows if Liam's leaving is even what upset him (was he worried that Liam's new mommy was taking him home?  Who knows.)

It just took Ezra way longer to recover from this than it normally takes him to recover from crying.  Shawn and Ezra and I just spent a long time snuggled on the couch.   Finally the only think that could get a response from Ezra (other than a "no") was Liam's teddy.  Ezra hates all stuffed toys--he tolerates their existence day to day and will occasionally hug one, but at nap and bed time they get thrown from the bed with a very serious NO--mixed with the waging 'no' finger.  All except white bear.  He loves white bear.  White bear belongs to Liam.
So white bear started talking to daddy and then to Ezra.  And eventually Ezra started talking back to white bear and all of a sudden Ezra sat straight up with a happy look on his face and said e-i-e-i-o (the term he uses when he wants to watch the Baby Einstein farm video.)

So who know what that was all about.  So strange and so hard to see such sadness in our son and have no ability to discern why.  We are so grateful that we can snuggle and reassure him just by holding him close, rubbing his back, and telling him how much we love him.

Finding Words

I've come to the computer repeatedly to write a post this past week.  I feel like I have so much to say, to tell, but my words aren't coming.  Ezra is doing so well.  Most problems we're having seem to be normal 3 year old problems (testing boundaries & pushing limits) mixed with language barriers--so blessed... it could be much worse!
 

Couch wrestling

As for me... maybe I'm being too honest, but no matter if things are going well, or if things are difficult I've been feeling like I'm in a hole. emotionally.  I'm really having a hard time climbing out.  The smallest things seem to knock me down. 

I'm not whining... just being honest.

Hoping that I can even just go through the motions and try to be a good mom even if I don't feel it.

I need to be more patient even though I don't feel it.

I need to be slow to anger (which seems almost impossible most days).

And I need to be quick to forgive.

Ice Cream & Grandparents

The folk festival is in town, and since we live a block away from where it's held, we've really enjoyed walking there and then coming home when we need a drink (or some shade).  We had my parents over as well as a good friend, so all in all it's been a good week-end.  To top off the day, my parents bought the boys ice cream cones

(it was mandatory that Ezra eat it on the deck, for obvious reasons). 

Now that VBS is over, Liam will be back to doing his daily 'responsibilities' and I am SO glad because I have missed having someone to empty the dishwasher the last 5 days!!!

How are they doing?

We are so fortunate to have very understanding family and friends (always willing to help and asking how we're doing... and asking because they actually care).  Many people are asking how Liam is doing with this transition.  He didn't do very well at the beginning.  During Ezra's nap time Liam and I were playing Lego and Liam made mini-figures of our family.  I thought sharing these mini-figures would give you a window into how Liam is doing today with the transition.

(Allow me to warn you that, no, you don't need glasses, my photography skills are just that bad!)

DADDY

MOMMY

LIAM

EZRA

Liam has come a long way in the past 4 weeks, but obviously we have a ways to go!

Liam wanted to do a Lego family camping scene, but I reminded him that I don't go camping.  So, he told me the Ezra and I could go to a hotel while he and daddy went camping for some daddy Liam time.  Fair enough. 

 Isn't our hotel lovely?!

Life is good. 

God is Great!



Wearing My Baby

This past week-end I bought a baby sling (the store owner said I could try it for a week and then return it if I didn't like it).  Well we are loving it.  Ezra wants to be held a lot and even though he's three, I don't think that's a bad thing (fantastic for attachment).  So after many numb arms I decided to try the sling.

So far this week we've been slinging it once or twice a day--yesterday I picked raspberries with him on my back, and today I loaded the dishwasher and tidied the kitchen.  I love being able to feel him relax on me and chat with him while rubbing his back.  He totally calms down for the entire time he's in there. 

Even though it's only been a few days, I'm going to rate this as a win.

Happy momma, happy boy!