I’ve won a few things in my life—I’ve been given some great opportunities, but I’ve never been the one to win the car or the big trip. But now that it looks like we are actually going to be able to pick up our little boy I feel so humbled and blessed. I am excited beyond all measure, but I am haunted by the knowledge that there are families out there whose files have been closed. How bitter sweet. It hurts to know that there are wonderful families who have prayed, seen miracles, experienced confirmation and trekked through the same 2-3 year adoption journey as us, yet their files are being closed. How devastating. I know all the Christian truths and ‘silver linings’ (I’ve come to hate those well intentioned silver linings by the way), but it’s still hard to digest the situation. We were no more deserving or faithful to receive a referral. I am so grateful and filled with joy, yet I shake my head and tears fill my eyes with the knowledge that years of hope, obedience, sacrifice and longing are met with such an abrupt halt. It’s hard because I still believe that God is amazing, in control, Holy, perfect and much much, more, but I don’t understand why this happened. I pray for a miracle for the families. I pray for comfort, and that they would feel God holding them close.
I don't think I ever posted on your blog before, but I was aware of your situation and praying for you so much! I'm so happy that you will be able to bring your precious son home. And thank you for your thoughts and prayers for those of us who have had that door close. It's been really, really difficult. I have no idea what the Lord has planned for us. Just hoping he reveals it soon.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to your family,
Keri
http://keriandnathan.blogspot.com
Hey there Keri. Thank you so, so much for your prayers. I am amazed and truly grateful that there are people out there praying for our family that have never me us. Thank you!
DeleteI think I stumbled upon your blog just yesterday and was reading your story. I will be praying for you. I pray that God would show you His plans in His time and that He will give you the peace and endurance to wait on Him. As I am writing this, I can hear my husband and 8 year old son discussing how it just doesn't seem right that we get our boy and so many others don't. Even just knowing of your situation helps our son (and us) realize how precious this gift of a child is. Take care and please keep me updated on what direction/adventure God takes you.
Oh Juanita, I hope I didn't make you feel guilty at all for being able to bring your son home. We are beyond thrilled for you and praising God for this blessing! We continue to pray for you as you wait for the call that says you can go. Cannot wait for that moment for you!
DeleteKeri, You of course didn't make me feel guilty ... it's just so sobering and humbling to know that at the same time as our family is rejoicing, so many other families are mourning. And, as we have apprciated how others have been rejoicing with us, we feel the need and desire to mourn with those in this adoption community who are mourning. Thanks so much for your excitment and prayers.
DeleteIs your little boy named Innocent by chance? Sorry for the random question.
ReplyDeleteI was on my phone when I typed that so it didn't come through. When we were there in Nov we met a little boy and I am pretty sure the nuns said he was waiting for his family in Canada. Wondering if it is you.
ReplyDeleteOh, wow... YES!!! That is so cool, now I want to know EVERYTHING! In his picture he looks so blank. Does he have a smile? Does he laugh? I just think it’s so interesting that you me our son before we did! How’s your family doing now?
ReplyDeleteHe has a very special place in our heart because our POA was trying to get him referred to us (we changed our age range to get him referred). I was so afraid he wouldn't find a family when MIGEPROF denied our request to change ages. While we were in the infant room, he was wandering around and came up to my husband. Chris picked him up and carried him around for a while. Chris remembers him as being really curious - probably doesn't see a lot of men! I remember him smiling and being really sweet. So thankful that he has a family now and that you will get to see him soon.
ReplyDeleteThings are going well for us. Nathaniel just turned one and is a pure joy and a perfect fit to our family. God has a way of working things out the way they are supposed to be. Can't wait to follow your journey.
Thank you so much for your message, it just brought tears to my eyes! I think I will be reading your words over and over again--I'm sure you understand that any info about your child is so precious. Our adoption agency thinks we'll be flying out around May 12th or 15th. so in less than a month I might get to meet him and hold him.
DeleteI'm glad your little Nathaniel is fitting in with your family so well!
Thank you so much for contacting me. This means so much to us!
We have been praying about him since the moment we first learned of him and are so glad that he will be coming home soon.
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you so much for your prayers. I wish you could know how much that means to us!
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