Thursday, September 27, 2012

Jealous


Ezra won’t really cuddle or sit on my lap or any fun stuff like that right now.  I think I understand why... I don’t like it, but I think I understand. 

The hard part is seeing how, even though he won’t cuddle/be held by me, he will lavish all that on random friends and people who come over.  He will sit and rest and stare into their eyes as if to soak and bask in their attention.  It frustrates me because I have been trying so hard to intentionally connect with him and show him how much I love him and what it is to have a mom.  But he sees me every day—there’s nothings special about my attention right now (I spend hours singing, playing and talking with him and he has come to expect this).  But for Shawn and other visitors, their attention is more valuable because Ezra doesn’t see them as often—I get it.


I was laying in bed the other night thinking about this and all of a sudden the first line of a David Crowder song came into my head- “He is jealous for me...”.   Oh how my children show me more and more about my Heavenly Father.  I am so Jealous for Ezra, I want him to know me as his mom, not just the name ‘mom’.  I want him to desire a relationship with me, not just look to me when he wants a snack. 


I needed to hear this message He has given me.  I know my Heavenly Father desires a relationship with me.  A relationship that thrives at all times.  A relationship where I come to Him, not only when I need something, but just so that I can listen, learn and be loved by Him.  I knew this all along, but I think I feel it—I feel the rejection my God must feel from me.

Every day that I look at Ezra, I can see myself. 
When he pushes me away, I must ask myself if I am pushing God away.
When he ignores me, I must ask myself if I am ignoring my Heavenly Father.
When he is deliberately defiant, I must ask myself how I am defying my Saviour.
the words that hang in my livingroom

Oh, how my children open my eyes.

 
 

Monday, September 24, 2012

Prayer


Liam’s prayer during family devotions today:  “Dear God, please let the internet stop working today so I don’t have to do school”. 
(Liam’s curriculum and my teacher’s manuals are online)

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Tot School

So tot school isn't as bad as it sounds... we call it school because Liam has school and I want Ezra to realize that learning can be so much fun (especially when mommy is around... a bit of brainwashing never hurt attachment!)
I thought I'd go through some of the activities I'm doing with Ezra during Tot School so that if anyone else is trying to teach an internationally adopted toddler or special needs child it might help with ideas.  Disclaimer: I am not an expert (oh my goodness, I am SO not an expert!)  Every child is different and that's why it has been so challenging to find ideas.  Ezra doesn't fit into the mold.
As intentional as I was with early learning with Liam, it is nothing compared to how I have to get into this little one's mind.  Just when I think a game/activity is basic and where he's at, surprise, it's not.  This has been great for me to learn.  It's been good to really just break things down to the simplest form and make a game or song out of it.
We have been working on colours for a couple of weeks (and we've tossed in animals too just to bring some variety).  What has been hard is, because of the language barriers, we can't have colours mixed with shapes or overly colourful pages because a red truck usually has white, black and sometimes yellow accents on it which I now see can be confusing.  And when I point to a red triangle... how does he know if 'red' is describing the shape or the name of the colour. 
Important: All of these resources are only available when we are doing tot school—the idea behind this is that it is special and he is more attentive and excited to do each activity because it’s the only time in the day he gets to use them. Of course he has many other toys he can play with the rest of the day. This seems to be working!

Falling Bears- This is supposed to be a learning bingo game, but what I do is, Ezra can arrange the coloured bear squares anywhere on the board. Then I take a bear, say it’s colour, and drop it from up high.  Ezra gets 2 chances to catch the bear and then he puts it on the matching bear square.  *I was very excited when, unguided, Ezra began to place the little bears on the squares with the little bears and the big bears on the big bear squares... it just happened—YAY!*
 


Puzzles- Okay, so puzzles are a given, but I had to borrow some board puzzles and they’ve been great.  We have 3 puzzles with farm animals so we can say the name of each animal when he takes the piece out and puts it back in.  We alternate between books and puzzles and activities to keep the time exciting.
 
Books- So this may seem like a no brainer... but no reading actually happens.  We only talk about one or two things on a page right now or I ask him to find something on the page.  We have to find super simple books without many pictures so that we can make sure that he can understand how the words I say will match what he is seeing.
 


Colour Match Pegs- I totally stole this from someone online... sorry whoever, but I forget where I found it.  Basically, the colour on the clothes pegs matches the circles and he can match them up.  This was the first activity I actually saw improvement on within a few days.  Interestingly enough, I thought colours would be the basic thing to teach, but matching and seeing the differences in the colours is the base skill he’s been learning.  Still, 2 ½ weeks into it, one minute he can get it all right and the next moment he can think that every colour is called blue or purple (no big deal) and he can think that grey and pink match (meh).

 
Bells- 2 years ago, we bought coloured melody bells and haven’t had the chance to use them... until now!  Once again, we’re not using them for the reason they were made (or bought!)  We use them in one of the songs we sing about ringing bells high & low etc.  But the best use has been for colour matching.  I set 5 bells on one side of the room (blue, red, yellow, green, orange).  Ezra and I stand on the opposite side of the room.  I have large piece of paper in each of the colours and I hold them behind my back.  I look Ezra in the eyes and say “Ezra, could you go get me the.... red bell”.  He then runs to the other side of the room and finds the bell that matches the colour I’m holding (red).  When he picks it up he waves it above his head and runs back to me (while we yell “ring-a-ling-a-ling”).  I then put the red paper on the ground and he puts the bell on it.  AND repeat until all the bells are in front of me.  This is a highlight for him—running, yelling, making an unholy amount of noise with those bells and lots of praise from his momma!
 
Opposites- I can’t believe I brought these in, but he just seemed ready.  In everyday language I noticed he’s understanding words like open and close, and up and down.  So, I thought it might be a good opportunity to be intentional about teaching it.  These are simple 2 piece puzzles and so we can say the words, look at the puzzle pictures, do an action with it and then put the pieces together.  Talk, touch, do... these are good learning ingredients for boys (it would be perfect for him if we could add in taste!!!)
 
Singing & Finger Play- And of course the staple to every day is singing.  We doing the Itsy Bitsy  Spider, Row, Row, Row Your Boat, his favourite- 5 Little Monkeys, and a bunch more.  All of these have actions, running times and lots of eye contact (super good for attachment).
Wow, now that I write it down, that seems like a lot.  It’s not—it goes quickly.  It’s always fun for him or we stop doing it.  We do this while Liam does his first 1 or 2 subjects so that Ezra gets one on one attention at the beginning of the day.  He plays much better after this.
Ezra came to our family, not just with a language barrier, but without having someone read to him, didn't know what any animals were (never saw them), and had no concept of most of the things other 3 year olds have had exposure to.  It's not that he just needed to learn the English word for circle, or red, or cow... he needed to learn what those things were to begin with.  What a learning experience this is for both of us!
I seriously LOVE my boys!
 

 
 

 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

First week of school

Well, last week was the first week of school for us Canadians and wow was it a doozie (does anybody even say that still?)
Well, Liam started grade 4 and Ezra and I are doing "tot school" (basically fun learning with games, puzzles, singing etc.)  I thought I was busy this summer... thought.  I keep thinking, "How do those women with tons of kids do it???"  And I haven't come up with an explanation of how that doesn't include a maid or steroids.
Anyhow, Ezra loved painting and since the theme this week is colours, it was a perfect activity.

 
This is Liam writing his spelling test... I know he looks so happy, but that's not because he likes spelling!
 
I look forward to getting into a good routine :)